SYTYCD Season 8 - Dirty Dozen

These'll be brief. Note that so far, there has been no elimination that has left me heartbroken.

Sasha and Alexander, Paso Doble - Watching a girl kick-ass in the Paso Doble was AWESOME, and her knee slides were freakin' incredible. He is invisible.

Tadd and Jordan, Contemporary - One of those routines where half-way through I thought to myself "Holy shit, I forgot that kid was a HIP HOP dancer!" Tadd is fantastic. Every time Jordan does a split leg move I take a very brief nap because it has grown TIRESOME.

Ryan and Ricky, Broadway - She still has a quality about her that makes her dancing look the same in every routine. I feel like if they didn't show the dancers' heads at all I'd still know which one Ryan was every time. Not necessarily in a bad way. This routine was pretty bland, though.

Mitchell and Caitlynn, Hip Hop - That just looked stupid. Why did she keep clutching her stomach? Lame.

Melanie and Marko, Tango - He was outshining her, although she was perfectly competent. I was distracted by how unflattering her costume was, and trying to pinpoint why - basically, she looked like a little chubby kid forced to wear a dance costume. Maybe it was chosen out of modesty, but less really would have been more. And then WOW THAT FINAL LIFT! Was very cool.

Jess & Clarice, Hip Hop - The beginning was REALLY rough. And then when they broke into the synchronized section, they were off and I blame JESS since Clarice had her back to him the whole time. I get the feeling if it was indeed Clarice who was a flash of a beat off he would ignore her, but that's what makes him kind of annoying - you should match your damn partner, not be right.

Alexander & Sasha, Broadway - I'm going to amend my earlier analogy about taking off dancers' heads, and saying if we only saw them in shadow, I'd totally know Sasha, too. In a VERY good way. I just love watching her. He is still a total non-event.

Tadd & Jordan, Broadway - Um, that was ALSO stupid. And it looked like they stayed in the same part of the stage the whole time. It was crap.

Ryan and Ricky, Cha Cha - Their timing seemed off. It felt like they were kinda CLOSE to being good at this, but... just weren't.

Caitlynn & Mitchell, Contemporary - eh, it was fine. I will give the girl credit for seeming to be pretty fearless about flinging herself around the stage. Maybe it's bc she's small, so she doesn't have as far to fall, or any fear that someone won't be able to catch her.

Melanie & Marko, Contemporary - They move BEAUTIFULLY. The concept was odd, but the movement itself was just SO. PRETTY. There was one little move in the beginning where he picks her up and does the gentlest little swing, and it made the whole routine for me.

Clarice & Jess, Jive - Whoa, she looked pretty sloppy. He seemed good, which I would expect from a Broadway guy, bc he's a Sir Kicks-a-lot.

PREDICTION. Clearly, Melanie & Marko are bulletproof, as they should be. Sasha seems popular enough to continue to carry her and Alexander through. And then I guess... well, I don't know. Everyone else seemed to have at least one truly crap routine. So let's say the last safe couple is... Clarice & Jess, because theirs were the LEAST crap and he apparently has some bizarro fan support.

So the bottom is Ryan & Ricky (who will both go home, because that's too many damn trips to the bottom), Tadd & Jordan, Caitlynn & Mitchell.

SYTYCD Season 8 - 20, still!

From the opening number, I thought "Really, Chris and Ashley? You're going to be boring THIS early?"

Cat was appropriately awestruck for Debbie Reynolds. Legend. Ary.

Ryan & Ricky, contemporary. Or jazz. Whatever.: From the moment they started, I thought - "Well here are two people who, even if both WERE presumably attracted to the opposite gender, would never, never have sex." That was just GOOFY-looking. And the costume they put that girl in was raunchy, not the dance. Less spandex crotch shots, thank you.

Caitlynn & Mitchell, contemporary: Open-mouthed gaping does not equate to emoting. That is all.

Wadi & Missy, cha-cha: THAT didn't seem to come naturally. His steps were too small. She looked like she learned how to do this for a pageant.

Iveta & Nick, Bollywood: From the interstitial, I was hoping Nick would tell us "What people don't know about Iveta is that she did NOT lie about her age. She really is only thirty!" But nope, it was boring. Anyhoo. Maybe it's really hard for tall people to dance Bollywood, because it looked like it took Nick forever to finish every move. She was innocuous.

Robert & Miranda, hip hop: I did not get the teacher/student part of the routine, but the bird-iness was cute. Her movements looked a bit too elongated at times, but I think she gave great face. It was fun.

Clarice & Jess, contemporary: She was beautiful. He was tragic.

Jordan & Tadd, Viennese Waltz: I address the TV, before the dance begins: "Why are they making Tadd do the Viennese Waltz, which is always boring, when he is hot and I do not want him voted off???" OK, then the dance happened. She did pretty well. He looked like he could get a lot better at this - which sounds negative, but I mean he could get better quickly. Like within a few episodes. I am also willing to argue he was alluding to past ignorant dancer comments and meant to be funny when he said "Vietnamese Waltz", and didn't mean that really WAS his initial reaction.

COMMERCIAL SIDEBAR. The Huggies diaper jeans commercial makes me think of this. And also, wasn't that an SNL skit?

Melanie & Marko, jazz: It looks like it should have been faster. But I'm going to blame choreographer Mandy Moore for that because she often sucks, and I LURV these two dancers. I think Melanie may be this season's dancer for whom I have no objectivity. Because I'm also willing to argue that she knew exactly who Nigel was talking about when he said "the gods of Terpsichore", and part of her delayed knowing little nose twitch and giggle was because he meant to say "the goddess Terpsichore". (Thank you, Wikipedia. But you may believe I totally already knew that if you'd like.)

Alexander & Sasha, hip hop: I think Taboleon missed with this one - I would have liked a lot more eye contact. I didn't think this expressed joy or relief, just emotive stomping. This could have been incredible, and genuinely moving, as Part Two to their Katee & Joshua piece where she is upset he is going to war, but this was nowhere near as good. It relied on saying "Here's a moving story, so be moved!" instead of actually being... moving. And damnit, it made me think more of the choreographers than the dancers. Who were fine, I guess.

Chris & Ashley, Broadway: MOST IMPROVED! I really enjoyed that, and what a great routine to show off a hip-hop dancer. I also believed that yes, these two could possibly have sex. I wasn't expecting them to pull of my favorite routine of the night. 'cuz yup, it was.

Prediction for the bottom three couples: Ryan & Ricky, Caitlynn & Mitchell, Wadi & Missy, Iveta & Nick, Clarice & Jess... aw shit, that's too many already, huh?

OK. Bottom three. Caitlynn & Mitchell, Iveta & Nick, Clarice & Jess. (Because I have a feeling Ryan and Wadi might already have fanbases who could keep them in a bit longer.) They save Caitlynn & Mitchell, but it won't matter because they'll be gone before the top 10.

SYTYCD Top 9

So last week, Robert was in the bottom 3 and no one addressed the fact that it was probably because he pretended to puke when Cat was announcing his call-in number. And pretending to barf is not funny, and not cute - it's just weird. Not in a good way.

Then they voted Cristina off even though I think we all cared less about Melinda. But I didn't feel strongly enough about the elimination to actually bother posting.

Plus, RemoteKontrol was the guest artist and they were AWESOME, although the gold costumes brought to mind street performers you would totally avoid on Pier 39.

Anyway, on to the Top 9!

They begin the show by promoting one of my least favorite elements of the show. The awkward "get-to-know-the-dancer-Q-and-A" segment. Not boding well.

Filming of the opening montage has not improved, and the solos are not more interesting.

Why do we now need to show what dances are coming up ahead of time? This adds nothing to my enjoyment.

Show, you are making me cranky. GET DANCIN'.

Adechike, Hip Hop: Wow, I did not expect him to be so awesome at this. He was groovy, and his iso's were impressive. VERY well done.

Ashley, Contemporary: On the one hand, it's too bad she keeps drawing the same dance styles and isn't being given a chance to show range. On the other hand, she is TERRIFIC at contemporary.

Billy, Solo: These kids are BRINGING it tonight. He is so odd, and fluid, and extended. The kid is gifted.

Robert, Jazz: All snarly face, no substance. It seemed like nothing actually happened in this routine. Boring.

Jose, Solo: I believe I've used this critique before about a different b-boy or hip hop dancer, but there's nothing he does that makes me think "He does that better than anyone else." Plus he doesn't bring enough speed to his movements.

Melinda, Salsa: Remember when Ellenore got caught in her skirt and danced through the whole routine anyway? This lady is no Ellenore. And she's not much of a salsa dancer. It looked like she forgot stuff, and was trying too hard. Plus her personality just seems wooden.

Kent, Solo: This points out why Billy Bell is unique. Kent's was well-done, and perfectly serviceable, but it didn't seem... impossible. And some of what Billy does just seems so unexpected and impossible.

Ales, Solo: The roll at the end was very cool, but I would've liked to see him play with the ape theme more. If this guy could ACT, I think he'd be a lot more formidable.

Lauren, Broadway: She performed this capably, and demonstrated how to kick ass with a costume failure. But it was meh. I think I hate this choreographer.

Ashley, Solo: With her music choice, I thought she might do something more interesting. Nope. It was just athletic toe pointing.

Billy, Contemporary: Partnered with someone I don't find him nearly as intersting. And I thought that before the judges started talking.

Robert, Solo: He's good, but I don't care. Contemporary overload.

Jose, Samba: He did well! The only part I found distractingly terrible was his samba walk, and some of the standing postures were stiff. But he clearly felt the rhythm and moved his hips well.

Melinda, Solo: No. You cannot tap to everything.

Kent, Jazz: He looked suuuuper dorky. Closing his mouth might've helped, but it wouldn't've been enough.

Adechike, Solo: Terrific. I thought I was tired of contemporary male solos tonight, but he was great. Very sinewy.

Lauren, Solo: Her feet seemed to move very quickly for such a slow piece. Pretty good.

Alex, Hip Hop: What a clever, clever piece!! Tabolweon really choreographed to his strengths, and it was incredible. Just fantastic. So apparently he DOES have some comic chops.

Predictions: Bottom 3 doesn't really matter because clearly Melinda is going home. So let's say the other 2 are Lauren and Robert.

SYTYCD Top 10

Bold prediction before anyone even dances: 3 girls in the bottom tomorrow. It takes them longer to develop a following, and this sped-up format won't allow anyone to find their legs. Pun TOTALLY intended.

Marginally better intro - the camera style tonight seems to be "half her body, then full body shot, then garbled shot of the next dancer running up to take her spot". None of the dancing intros were that spectacular anyway. Most notable - Melinda wore horrid high-waist shorts. NO. Plus Robert needs to stop making goofy faces. He is too handsome to be that goofy - it just comes off as weird.

Instead of wasting all that time showing each and every person drawing all-star names out of a hat, how 'bout just giving us a dance routine with the left-over dancers? Because a Twitch and Neil number would be pretty kick-ass.

Cristina, Paso Doble: OK, now I think I see the difference between salsa and ballroom. Salsa is bent, and curvy, and in constant motion. Ballroom is straight, and has excellent posture, and requires effortless precision. Cristina is a salsa dancer, and not ready for the Paso Doble.

Adechike, Contemporary: Oh no, Mandy Moore, how is he supposed to smile when this crappy song is playing?? The smiling just made him look insane. I was too distracted by the shittiness of the song choice to even notice the dancing. So I guess it had lots of extensions and fluidity.

Alex, Broadway: See, now THIS guy was ready to do Paso Doble. But the jazzy Broadway wasn't his element - he's too precise, and too elongated. Yeah, he hit everything, but there was nothing dirty about it. And it should've been at least a leeeeetle bit dirty.

Ashley, Jazz: WOW. That was STELLAR. Granted, it's her wheel house, but she was terrific. Very quick, and fluid, and pretty, and fun. Oh wait - it was jazz, not contemporary. But Nigel was right - it wasn't jazz, anyway.

Billy, Crump: Well, no surprises there. It certainly could've been a lot worse, but it also didn't look like it came naturally. Some of the twists and jumps were actually really cool, and I think he had a good understanding of the physicality of the dance. He just ain't buck.

Robert, Argentine Tango: Well, he's a very pretty tango frame. But his flicks seemed to end too soon, and he wasn't as quick as the dance demanded.

Melinda, Contemporary: The word that kept coming to mind was "flat-footed". Which is weird, because she DID point her toes and all, so maybe it was just... flat.

Jose, Bollywood: The DVR has been on pause while I got distracted by a hundred other things, bc I am looking forward to this roughly... not at all. OK, pressing play and... you know what b-boy would've killed this? Legacy. Sigh. This kid is no Legacy. BUT - he was game, and I was actually rather impressed that he never looked LOST. Not as bad as I'd feared, and actually fun to watch. Y'know, if he hadn't compared himself to Legacy off the bat I might've been able to warm up to him quicker, bc he was pretty cute.

Lauren, Lyrical Hip-Hop: Well that wasn't very lyrical at all. I thought it was choppy, and didn't go as far as it could have with the story. It was too much set-up, and not enough delivery.

Kent, Jazz: Surprisingly awesome - he packs a lot more power than I had originally thought, and pulled off masculine better than I expected. Oddly enough, may have been my favorite this evening, even though it was a Tyce Joykiller DiOrio number.

Bottom 3: Cristina, Melinda, and... Adechike. Even though I did predict 3 girls, I think Ashley's number was really great, and people will respond to Lauren's dramatic talent (and it was late in the show).

The All-Stars were still SO much better than the contestants that it was often distracting.

SYTYCD Week 1 Results

Why isn't there anyone from Season 6 in the opening credit sequence? That's weird. They had time to remix it over the winter, y'know.

Opening: Yay! It's just the contestants! Glad they got to do this on their own. The piece itself looked kinda sloppy, though. A lotta "girls as ropes", which was kinda weird.

The first four come up, and it's already clear my predictions were off last night. Also clear that the director learned nothing - way to miss the music cue and make Kat look bad (Kat is awesome so I doubt the overly long awkward pause was her fault). Anyhow, this cluster is not looking good for Lauren. But FAKE OUT! Which is totally OK if Kat does it, but not OK at all when the judges do it. I realize this seems hypocritical, but I can live with myself in this instance.

So I called 2 out of 3 - and I'm sad I got Cristina right, bc she's cute and I think it would be great to watch her learning curve.

The professionals, doing a piece from "Come Fly Away": That was fan-TAS-tic. To make a gross over-simplification, dynamics in music often involves playing with volume - and I love how they added dynamics to this piece by altering the speed. VERY cool.

Solos:

Melinda taps to James Brown, and throws in some entertaing James Brown impressions. But the piece had no levels - it was just kinda hunched over, and moved in one horizontal line across the stage.

Alexie does a boring slow graceful stretching of limbs contemporary dance.

Cristina does a standard latin solo number. Also with no levels. Although it appears she moves in 2 diagonal lines, rather than one straight line across the stage.

Oi, none of those were very compelling. So I'm thinking it'll be Alexie, even though it's really cruel. But she doesn't seem to offer much in the way of bringing any variety to this season.

Usher: I didn't find that memorable, but I approve of Usher in general, and appreciate it when the show feature performers who actually spotlight dance in their act.

Justin Bieber video: I actually like this kid's voice, and had "One Time" in heavy rotation on my iPod after I downloaded it free on iTunes. I was set to be annoyed by the odd placement of this video on SYTYCD, until - BEAT FREAKS and POREOTIX were in it! And what may have been We Are Heroes but I couldn't quite tell! Dance shows collide and I LOVE IT!!!

So it is indeed Alexie, but as Adam said - the girl is hirable. She seems spunky enough to overcome, but I feel for her.

SYTYCD Top 11

I rewatched the showcase episode - just the dance numbers - and found I did not find the show quite as cheesy as I did on first viewing. I blame 1. the astroturf in the opening number, which created a jarring color contrast and 2. Tyce DiOrio's crappy Broadway routine. Yeesh, his stuff is a total joykill.

Dance intros: WTF happened here?!? Did they tell the new director this is a DANCE show, and the camera should be on the DANCERS?!? "Let's have no close-up for the very first dancer, cut the second one in half, hide the third one behind the audience, and for the fourth... just her arm!" That was AWFUL. AWFUL!

Billy Bell: Broadway, by Tyce "Joykiller" DiOrio. And my joy? Is killed. This routine was lame, and Billy couldn't pull off being a tough guy. Which is actually kinda hilarious, bc I never thought Kevin Bacon was all that tough in Footloose until just this moment.

Cristina: Jazz, by Sonia "All-My-Routines-Are-Starting-to-Look-the-Same" Tayeh. As a standard Sonia number, this was OK. But if she was supposed to actually evoke a snake with her movements, it wasn't fluid enough at all.

Jose: Hip-hop, by "Generally Entertaining" Taboleon. He was a bit clunky.

Adechike: Jazz, by Travis "How-Ya-Like-Me-NOW,- Benjy?" Wall. This was good, but it played right into his strengths. So I wasn't wowed, because it wasn't anything I wasn't expecting to see.

Melinda: Jive, by Tony and "Hellz YEAH I Can Still Dance This Shit If Need Be" Melanie. Starting with jive? Yowch - this is always a tough one for the newbies. Melinda was NOT the exception. While she tried to put on a show, she didn't interact with Pasha at all, which is not good in especially partner-centric ballroom.

We're (almost) at the halfway point, a digression on this year's format. I am struck in every routine just how much better the "all-stars" are than the contestants. It is distracting, and it seems really unfair. Since it's week one, it would be hard for anyone to demonstrate a great deal of chemistry with a partner - and that is especially so tonight, when only one person in the pair really has to be nervous.

Alex: Another Sonia piece. No doubt, boy has mad skilz. No criticism of his dancing - this one played to his strengths and let him give some good face. the first NOT to be overshadowed by his partner (and not just because I didn't think Alison was that great before - she's a lot better now.) Partner connection might have been easier to convey because this choreography actually discouraged eye contact anyway. Also- Dear Everyone: I have heard that Hallelujah song quite enough now, thank you.

Alexie: Another Taboleon piece. Cute. Adequate. Wish she looked at her partner more and the audience less.

Lauren: Pop Jazz by Mandy "My Hair Is Distracting" Moore. I like this girl, and I liked her in this. Same partner-connection complaint, but big kudos to her for being fearless. Granted, I think Ade probably inspires some confidence that you will not be dropped on your head.

Kent: Cha Cha by Melanie & Tony. Oof. His form was TERRIBLE. He looked like a kid pretending he knew ballroom, and all he remembered about it was that ballroom guys pull lots of ridiculous faces. Which is exactly what he himself just said, so now I'm in love with him, bless his little heart.

Ashley: Lyrical Jazz by Joykiller. She was lovely. This is the first time I've had a chance to really see her dance (she blended in to the showcase number and I had a hard time picking her out) (although they DID show her arm in the intro, so there was that) and she seems like the standard talented contemporary dancer who will at first seem blandly good but might later develop a spark to be one of the bestest ever (like Kathryn).

Robert: African Jazz by Sean "Don't Laugh At My Name" Cheesman. Before watching, I'm already excited because I'd been hoping they'd spend more time on African Jazz. His movements were a little too pretty for this piece, but he's hot so hopefully he'll be sticking around so they can rough him up some.

BOTTOM 3 PREDICTION: Cristina (too early in the line-up), Melinda (stuck with ballroom and didn't nail it), Adechike (too many other contemporary boys, and they had bigger followings going into this).

Who I'd Cut: Jose. He bores me. I've been annoyed since he said he was better than Legacy in the audition rounds because - he's no Legacy. Or Gev. Or Dom (as annoying as he is, kid is an uh-mazing b-boy). Or even Phillip Chbeeb (who I still love as a solo artist but wow he was not very good at anything else).

Finished watching too late to vote, but I might have had to go for Kent because of the Aw shucks factor. I mean, COME on. That kid is ADORABLE.

Season 7-11

Kathy trivia fact: I was 7 lbs 11 oz. at birth, resulting in a lifelong relationship with the Slurpee.

OK, so SYTYCD. I have been slow to start recapping this season for a few reasons, but chiefly among them - I'm not all that excited. I will probably learn to love this plucky crew as I have in years past, but I am very, VERY skeptical of the format change.

First off, I had NO PROBLEM with 20 dancers. I LIKED 20 dancers. I thought it was FUN to watch people pair up and see what sort of chemistry resulted between the contestants. Katee and Joshua! Gev and Courtney! Sabra and Dominic!

While the audition rounds seemed especially painful this year, they probably weren't any worse than they were in year's past. I take no joy in watching delusional nutcase after delusional nutcase baffle the judges with their narcissistic refusal to acknowledge what little talent they possess. The pathos was laid on WAY too thick, and I was pretty irritated when the show tried to manipulate me into crying about the dancer who was overweight - Oh, the humanity! And this season seemed very light on people dancing in unusual styles who weren't going to make the show - Cloggers! New Orleans bounce! Juggling! (OK, that last one is just on my wish list.)

The hour-long "I'm sorry to tell you this trick is going to be so overplayed that it will be meaningless and wasn't that much fun the first time but you're out... of toilet paper because I was just in your bathroom playing dress-up sparkle bath product bride, but don't worry because there's more toilet paper... in LA where you're going to be on the show!" ... was really, really grating and way too long.

So now we're finally at our top 11 (kinda irritating that they couldn't pick a number and mean it, but not gonna harp on that much) - and the season is once again chock full of contemporary dancers and very little else. Not that contemporary dancers aren't talented, but come on!

I am pleased to see the all-stars because I really do like each of them very much, and I'm happy they are getting work. And I was thrilled to see Mark's goofy little pose at the beginning of the "Fame" number, but as I continued to watch I thought... what is this reminding me of? With all the dancers that I already know doing a staged number to a cheesy song with an obvious theme? Then it hit me. THIS SHOW HAS BECOME SOLID GOLD. NOT a good sign.

The show begins, and... they're going to dance with the all stars right off the bat??? This is going to be distracting, because I would like to watch the NEW people and learn to like THEM.

New format, you have distressed me mightily. I'm having a tough time focusing here.

It is beginning to look like I'll be fast-forwarding judges this season. This self-adulation is unbearable.

I...I...I feel as though I have finally realized the Emperor is naked. Was this show always so CHEESY???

Cristina is the first stand-out for me, but that could also be because she only had 2 others to work with.

Billy and Alex only have to work with ONE all star? I am all ready to complain and THEN... Shit, that was amazing. What a gift Mia gave these three - it spotlighted everyone well, and Ade was just fantastic.

Sonia, on the other hand, kinda screwed the new guys by showcasing Neil right off the bat. Yeah, Neil is incredible, but we KNEW that.

OK, show. Please have some mojo back when the competing begins.