SYTYCD Season 8 - Dirty Dozen

These'll be brief. Note that so far, there has been no elimination that has left me heartbroken.

Sasha and Alexander, Paso Doble - Watching a girl kick-ass in the Paso Doble was AWESOME, and her knee slides were freakin' incredible. He is invisible.

Tadd and Jordan, Contemporary - One of those routines where half-way through I thought to myself "Holy shit, I forgot that kid was a HIP HOP dancer!" Tadd is fantastic. Every time Jordan does a split leg move I take a very brief nap because it has grown TIRESOME.

Ryan and Ricky, Broadway - She still has a quality about her that makes her dancing look the same in every routine. I feel like if they didn't show the dancers' heads at all I'd still know which one Ryan was every time. Not necessarily in a bad way. This routine was pretty bland, though.

Mitchell and Caitlynn, Hip Hop - That just looked stupid. Why did she keep clutching her stomach? Lame.

Melanie and Marko, Tango - He was outshining her, although she was perfectly competent. I was distracted by how unflattering her costume was, and trying to pinpoint why - basically, she looked like a little chubby kid forced to wear a dance costume. Maybe it was chosen out of modesty, but less really would have been more. And then WOW THAT FINAL LIFT! Was very cool.

Jess & Clarice, Hip Hop - The beginning was REALLY rough. And then when they broke into the synchronized section, they were off and I blame JESS since Clarice had her back to him the whole time. I get the feeling if it was indeed Clarice who was a flash of a beat off he would ignore her, but that's what makes him kind of annoying - you should match your damn partner, not be right.

Alexander & Sasha, Broadway - I'm going to amend my earlier analogy about taking off dancers' heads, and saying if we only saw them in shadow, I'd totally know Sasha, too. In a VERY good way. I just love watching her. He is still a total non-event.

Tadd & Jordan, Broadway - Um, that was ALSO stupid. And it looked like they stayed in the same part of the stage the whole time. It was crap.

Ryan and Ricky, Cha Cha - Their timing seemed off. It felt like they were kinda CLOSE to being good at this, but... just weren't.

Caitlynn & Mitchell, Contemporary - eh, it was fine. I will give the girl credit for seeming to be pretty fearless about flinging herself around the stage. Maybe it's bc she's small, so she doesn't have as far to fall, or any fear that someone won't be able to catch her.

Melanie & Marko, Contemporary - They move BEAUTIFULLY. The concept was odd, but the movement itself was just SO. PRETTY. There was one little move in the beginning where he picks her up and does the gentlest little swing, and it made the whole routine for me.

Clarice & Jess, Jive - Whoa, she looked pretty sloppy. He seemed good, which I would expect from a Broadway guy, bc he's a Sir Kicks-a-lot.

PREDICTION. Clearly, Melanie & Marko are bulletproof, as they should be. Sasha seems popular enough to continue to carry her and Alexander through. And then I guess... well, I don't know. Everyone else seemed to have at least one truly crap routine. So let's say the last safe couple is... Clarice & Jess, because theirs were the LEAST crap and he apparently has some bizarro fan support.

So the bottom is Ryan & Ricky (who will both go home, because that's too many damn trips to the bottom), Tadd & Jordan, Caitlynn & Mitchell.

SYTYCD Season 8 - 20, still!

From the opening number, I thought "Really, Chris and Ashley? You're going to be boring THIS early?"

Cat was appropriately awestruck for Debbie Reynolds. Legend. Ary.

Ryan & Ricky, contemporary. Or jazz. Whatever.: From the moment they started, I thought - "Well here are two people who, even if both WERE presumably attracted to the opposite gender, would never, never have sex." That was just GOOFY-looking. And the costume they put that girl in was raunchy, not the dance. Less spandex crotch shots, thank you.

Caitlynn & Mitchell, contemporary: Open-mouthed gaping does not equate to emoting. That is all.

Wadi & Missy, cha-cha: THAT didn't seem to come naturally. His steps were too small. She looked like she learned how to do this for a pageant.

Iveta & Nick, Bollywood: From the interstitial, I was hoping Nick would tell us "What people don't know about Iveta is that she did NOT lie about her age. She really is only thirty!" But nope, it was boring. Anyhoo. Maybe it's really hard for tall people to dance Bollywood, because it looked like it took Nick forever to finish every move. She was innocuous.

Robert & Miranda, hip hop: I did not get the teacher/student part of the routine, but the bird-iness was cute. Her movements looked a bit too elongated at times, but I think she gave great face. It was fun.

Clarice & Jess, contemporary: She was beautiful. He was tragic.

Jordan & Tadd, Viennese Waltz: I address the TV, before the dance begins: "Why are they making Tadd do the Viennese Waltz, which is always boring, when he is hot and I do not want him voted off???" OK, then the dance happened. She did pretty well. He looked like he could get a lot better at this - which sounds negative, but I mean he could get better quickly. Like within a few episodes. I am also willing to argue he was alluding to past ignorant dancer comments and meant to be funny when he said "Vietnamese Waltz", and didn't mean that really WAS his initial reaction.

COMMERCIAL SIDEBAR. The Huggies diaper jeans commercial makes me think of this. And also, wasn't that an SNL skit?

Melanie & Marko, jazz: It looks like it should have been faster. But I'm going to blame choreographer Mandy Moore for that because she often sucks, and I LURV these two dancers. I think Melanie may be this season's dancer for whom I have no objectivity. Because I'm also willing to argue that she knew exactly who Nigel was talking about when he said "the gods of Terpsichore", and part of her delayed knowing little nose twitch and giggle was because he meant to say "the goddess Terpsichore". (Thank you, Wikipedia. But you may believe I totally already knew that if you'd like.)

Alexander & Sasha, hip hop: I think Taboleon missed with this one - I would have liked a lot more eye contact. I didn't think this expressed joy or relief, just emotive stomping. This could have been incredible, and genuinely moving, as Part Two to their Katee & Joshua piece where she is upset he is going to war, but this was nowhere near as good. It relied on saying "Here's a moving story, so be moved!" instead of actually being... moving. And damnit, it made me think more of the choreographers than the dancers. Who were fine, I guess.

Chris & Ashley, Broadway: MOST IMPROVED! I really enjoyed that, and what a great routine to show off a hip-hop dancer. I also believed that yes, these two could possibly have sex. I wasn't expecting them to pull of my favorite routine of the night. 'cuz yup, it was.

Prediction for the bottom three couples: Ryan & Ricky, Caitlynn & Mitchell, Wadi & Missy, Iveta & Nick, Clarice & Jess... aw shit, that's too many already, huh?

OK. Bottom three. Caitlynn & Mitchell, Iveta & Nick, Clarice & Jess. (Because I have a feeling Ryan and Wadi might already have fanbases who could keep them in a bit longer.) They save Caitlynn & Mitchell, but it won't matter because they'll be gone before the top 10.